Seriously – flossing my teeth is something I have never gotten the hang of. I do it when I feel like I have food in my teeth after a meal, or fast and furious in the 2 days leading up to my 6 month dental appointment, but other than that I don’t really do it. When I actually do it, it hurts! But I wait until it hurts before I take any action.
How apropos for my life. A lot of the time, I don’t take action on whatever it is I’m supposed to take action on until things get so bad that the hurt is unbearable. Physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain or spiritual pain, they’re all fair game.
Trying to try isn’t enough, most of the time. Although, it’s a place to start. Taking new actions and making those actions habit are the only things I have found to be successful.
I can complain about the state of affairs – I’ve gained some weight, lost some muscle, my eyes look puffy and tired, I don’t read enough anymore, my gums hurt when I floss, my grass is so long, there are weeds in my rocks, my patio is so bare, my basement is a mess, on and on and on. Trust me, I can find a million things to be upset about or annoyed with, and then bitch about them.
Bitching isn’t going to change any of those things. A little vent session is always recommended and sometimes very necessary, but then it’s time to get off my ass and do something about it.
I’d love to learn how to not wait until the pain outweighs the procrastination to get things done. Do normal people do that too? Is it just alcoholics? It can’t be. Right?
The only way for my gums to hurt less when I floss is to floss more. The only way to keep my grass under control is to mow more often.
The only way to maintain my spiritual condition is to pray more.
BAM. That hit me like a ton of bricks. But it’s true. I don’t know what or who I’m praying to. I haven’t gotten that far yet. If I overthink it, I freak myself out and that’s just not helpful. So I’ve come to a place where nature, the universe, the moon, those things are powers bigger than me and they are somewhat tangible and I feel moved when I sit and ponder on them, so that’s what I pray to. Mother nature and father universe? No clue. See, I could go on and on trying to articulate what should never be articulated. In a pretty intense breathing meditation session, I had an image fill my mind. On big open ocean in the middle of the night, the sky was filled with stars and a giant yellow moon. GIANT. I was on a ship, pointed out toward the sea, following the moon. I realized then that I am merely the navigator in this voyage of life that I am a part of. Today the Universe is my compass and my guide. It was a very powerful moment for me and one I am unlikely to forget. When I pay attention and stay out of my own way, I get to places I’d never dreamed of. Spirituality is a cool thing – what I love the most is that it’s different for everyone. You can be you and I can be me and we can be happy and spiritual, separate yet together. Love that.